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Lick pussy app

If I were to have kids in ten years, or even right now, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't make it, whether because they eventually suffocated under a build-up of polar bear corpses or because they played themselves in a nuclear "my bad"-type scenario. If you asked me if I thought my hypothetical children would ever possess the ability to go down on themselves at some point before their non-natural deaths, I'd say, "The technology won't be there for at least another years, if it even ever gets there, what with all of these sinister funding cuts. It turns out the technology is already there. O-Cast , a product unveiled earlier in March, allows people with a Lovense Bluetooth Lush vibrator which was not designed with oral in mind to lick their iPhones in the exact pattern they want their vibrator to "lick," or move, on their clitoris. When I first read about the app, which describes itself as the " iTunes of cunnilingus ," I sorted the news into the Progress No One Asked For file and went about my day, masturbating with my preferred devices while making eye contact with the cardboard cutout of Drake propped behind my bed. Yet I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like for my vibrators to mimic the patterns my tongue made—the patterns I would like a tongue to make—on my vagina. For all I talk about men being awful at oral sex, I'd been presented with a unique opportunity to see if even I knew what I wanted, as I've never been able to put my tongue down there. For a flexibility perspective, I can't touch my tongue to my knee, even after a minute stretching warm-up. Would my self-oral be better than oral from guys? If so, maybe I'd find the courage to reject guys who didn't offer me a baseline level of respect or camaraderie.
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This video takes you through the basics of oral sex via a training game that looks like a cross between Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero.
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When it comes to sexual pleasures, every individual is different in the sense that everybody has its own preferences. For instance, some guys like to do it in missionary style while others prefer doggystyle, which is kind of an evolutionary thing because other mammals still do it this way. In other words, there is something special about having sex in doggy position for men. Of course, not all women prefer the doggy position. Sex is an activity in which the pleasures of both the partners matter. If one person is satisfied while others is not, it cannot be termed as a great sex. In this regard, pleasing a man is quite straightforward in the sense that oral sex for men is not that complicated. However, when it comes to women things are quite different. Orgasm for females is still a mystery even for science. One notices a lot of variation that makes it complicated.
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As Superbad star and Oscar nominee Jonah Hill once said in one of his most criminally underrated performances: You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy. You probably don't want them to think you're bad at eating it, either. Problem is, for people who have never attempted performing oral sex on a woman before, the vagina is a mysterious and scary foldy cave, and on the first several attempts, cunnilingus is a terrifying spelunking journey into the unknown. Until now. Meet the Lick app, a doodad for curious youths or inexperienced non-youths interested in practicing the fine art of snatchlicking before they're actually face down between a woman's legs. Here's a sort of uncomfortable-making screen shot! Luckily lickily!!! Instead, smartphone owners visit the app's website and participate in a series of exercises where they perform a series of tasks that require gentle but firm repetitive motion to complete — flicking a light switch, sharpening a pencil, or bouncing a beach ball around. The "challenge" comes in trying to complete the most repetitions over a short period of time. The "challenge" also comes from licking your damn phone screen and not catching one of the host of illnesses that could reside there.
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D esigned by Pablo Rochat and the suitably named Chris Allick, Lick This is an app that helps you to improve your cunnilingus technique by slobbering on your touchscreen. Rochat and Allick want to make people laugh and get them talking about technology and the human body.

Success: tongues are wagging! But I feel the coverage of this landmark new invention is sorely lacking some critical evaluation: is Lick This indeed likely to make you the host ess with the most est at the party in your lover's pants? Or will you simply have spent half an hour on your own in your bedroom licking your phone?

For those who fetishise the "natural", Lick This might seem an uncomfortable technological development. After all, if kids are now learning about sex from porn and cunnilingus techniques from Siri, what happens to the reality of the body and the intimacy of sexual discovery?

However, as feminist writer Donna Haraway has pointed out, humans are already cyborgs. We attach technologies, like spectacles or shoes, to our "natural" bodies, and they become essential parts of how we navigate the world. Our iPhones guide us through urban jungles, they help us hunt and gather our food, they even choose mates for us: there's no reason they shouldn't train us as lovers too.

So can they? Lick This provides three exercises — flicking a light switch, boinging a beach ball, and rotating the handle of a pencil sharpener — to train your soft palate in the arts of licky love. Flicking the switch helps you build an up-and-down rhythm, boinging the ball teaches you to work with a wriggling target, and I don't really know what rotating the handle of a pencil sharpener is supposed to do other than cover your phone in saliva, but I'm not terribly good at it.

I found myself craving feedback. OK, I knew how many times I could flick the switch ! I wanted the app to start beeping when it was satisfied. I was putting in so much effort — I needed validation. Would an "Oh My Fucking God! On reflection, however, the clitoris is not an abacus, and it's probably best that Allick et al did not create an app encouraging its trainees to believe that orgasm is the guaranteed result of repetitive beach ball boinging.

I mean, the representation of female sexual pleasure in porn already teaches consumers that women's bodies are dysfunctional if they don't replicate male patterns of orgasm. We don't need an app that creates cunnilingus hubris, with all the attendant blame of flesh and blood vaginas should they fail to respond to computer-generated sexual expertise.

A more pressing critique, then, is that euphemistic switch flicking, ball bouncing and pencil sharpening don't exactly stand one in good stead for dealing with the geography of the feminine south.

The most challenging thing about giving head is probably not flicking your tongue up and down times, but, rather, finding the funbump amid the fleshfolds. And mightn't the replacement of female sexual anatomy with cutesy animations simply reinforce the squickiness or intimidation that some feel when face to face with the beautiful beast?

I think we need a Lick This in which the "This" is a vagina rather than a pencil sharpener. The conundrum then becomes, what should "This" vagina look like? Female genitalia manifests in all sizes and shapes, from the minimalist to the baroque: it's aesthetically infinite down there.

Different levels are obviously needed. Allow me to make some suggestions: Level one might lack anatomical complexity: a clamshell vagina, its foliage neatly trimmed to provide visual assistance for the inexperienced.

Level two should require more skill: a heavily forested vulva, perhaps, and a vagina with sturdy prepuce and generous labia minora. Level three should be more anatomically ambiguous. Subtly intersex genitalia is much more common than we are led to believe, so how about a large and visually erectile clitoris?

And maybe some cool vulva tattoos. Just because. And level four? Level four should be a penis. Some women have penises. And it would be fun trying to fit the whole phone in your mouth. Topics Sex Opinion. Women Apps comment. Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular.



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