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Super Tuesday reveals a Biden surge, a close race with Sanders, and a battle for the identity of the Democratic Party. Journals Sophia's World. These stereotypes absolutely exist, and they are harmful.

For me, it hits close to home. Conversations about racial stereotypes might not pop up in certain social circles in America, but they do in mine. Plus, I am a Korean American woman dating a blond, blue-eyed, German-blooded man born and raised in North Dakota to a baseball-obsessed, Baptist, Republican family. I grew up as a missionary kid in Singapore; David grew up in a middle-class suburban home with a pool in the Midwest.

I watched Korean dramas and practiced taekwondo; he watched DuckTales and chowed pretzels at baseball stadiums and air-guitared to Blink But still, we somehow clicked. From the pit of my gut came complex feelings of irritation, fear, and That bothered me.

But where do the fear and shame come from? I traced those feelings back to when I first arrived in the United States as a teenage immigrant. The way they said it—always with a disgusted scowl—seemed to suggest anyone who dates too many Asians is creepy and abnormal, akin to perverts who watch kinky dwarf porn in a dank basement.

When I was dating a Jewish guy, I started noticing that there were a lot of couples like us: white or Jewish man, Asian woman. Nowhere are racial stereotypes more prominent than in the online dating world. These are muddy, uncomfortable thoughts. The problem is, the more I was reading such articles, the more they confused and upset me. Recently, a friend sent me an Invisibilia podcast episode in which an Asian American woman interviews another Asian American woman who mostly dates white men. Have we really come down to this—marking racial check boxes in our romantic pursuits?

Nowhere in that interview did I hear her talk about being equally yoked or seeking commitment, mutual respect and trust, sacrificial love, and open communication. Instead, she focused on skin color, sociology, and how it made her feel about herself. Racial prejudices are real and serious sins. That New York Times column by the Latino guy who broke up with his white girlfriend describes his internal angst with such clarity:.

If everyone is so woke, why are things so terrible? Anyway, what am I supposed to do? How do I love as a brown body in the world in a way that makes everybody happy? Ironically, by trying to break free from racial oppression or internalized racism, we sometimes construct new racial prisons for ourselves. Interracial marriage is something joyous and beautiful—two individuals breaking the barriers of cultural and ethnic differences to become one flesh in a relationship representing the holy union of Christ and the Church.

Maybe this year. Third time lucky, eh? One common Last week, U. While in L. Thank you, Sophia, for writing deeply, and from a uniquely Christian perspective about relationships. We are all learning to get along and love people who are not us. God has made us all beautifully, wonderfuly and very differently, on purpose, to illustrate for the world what reconciliation and unity are really about: NOT sameness!

We are each enabled by the same God, Son and Spirit for His purposes. In Christ, we are free to marry "in the Lord". Thanks for sharing a bit of your life.

In our church in a university town there are many "interracial" couples, Asian, African, white, etc. But, we don't think of them that way.

They are our family and friends in Christ. Our society is hung up on racial identity, whereas, in Christ, we are focused on identity in Christ. Big difference! May you and others find the one to marry with whom you can serve Christ well.

A good, honest article; thanks for sharing this with us. I was wondering as I read—how much has social media contributed to your angst? Racial differences and angst, and even hostility, permeate every society and culture and can be traced throughout history.

It even exists among peoples of similar skin tones. There is seemingly always something that our sin nature can come up with as a reason to dislike someone else. In regards to dating, and marriage, one must remember that we marry a person and the family is part of the package.

There will be issues regardless of the color of one's skin or racial heritage. This ripple effect is, unfortunately, unavoidable. Our response and how we handle it is the only part that we have any control over. And here, we have to fight our own inner demons. When we were working on the adoption paperwork, we had to fill out questions about interracial dating. At the time, I remember thinking that I still hadn't figured out how I felt about my daughters dating at all and I had 16 and 13 year old daughters at the time.

My daughter from China came home at age 14 and is now a college student. She hasn't dated, so I don't know if she has encountered this, and I had no idea that this was such a wide spread issue. We've taught our girls that if the men they chose to marry live for Christ and love them deeply, the rest doesn't matter, but I can see that there may be other pressures.

As an aside, I always read your articles for the insights about Asian culture and happenings in Asia, especially China as it helps inform my prayers for my daughter's friends known and family unknown in China. Thank you again for your transparency and courage in sharing. Sophia, I think the gender differences, male and female, is way more significant than any racial difference.

Yes, racial differences can be an added challenge. The one key is learning to understand, accept and work with your differences no matter where they come from. The other key has been our Faith in Christ and Trusting Him to get us through the rough times. It has been nothing short of miraculous. I think our 40 plus years of married life is a testimony to those truths. I can remember many years ago, one of our close family friends went to Korea during the conflict war?

There was some really negative talk about his bringing home a Korean wife - and we were all Christians! They are the most beautiful Godly couple, with lots of children and a stable, loving-Jesus family. I babysat for them as a teenager for many years. Funny thing, lots of the whites complaining about the mixed marriage are now divorced! I wish we could stop looking at our skin to determine who we are or how we interract with others.

Granted, there are cultural differences especially in the older generations who were raised up more deeply steeped in their cultural ways than their Americanized offspring. Still, I know of so many mixed marriages and relationships where it just doesn't matter. Different strokes for different folks! As an added benefit, Asians and whites make the most beautiful babies ever!

Considering the generation, many of the male clients had served in the military. MLK Jr. We, in America, have largely defeated systemic racism. Sofia, you are an awesome writer! And this article proves it--you have long been one of my favorite World columnists, but I perceive you also have the gift of sharing your most personal thoughts in a way that simultaneously instructs and entertains me. Thank you! I truly admire your candor. I, a white Pennsylvania Dutch girl similar to your David, married a Latino--a man from Guatemala who immigrated legally to the US at age 19 and eventually became a citizen.

During our three-year courtship, my mother was suspicious of both his accent and his non-Calvinist theology. An older lady at church once pulled me aside and whispered, "Be careful--if you marry him, you might have a black baby. It was amazing to see my sometimes prejudiced mother hug my husband one day years later and say to him, with tears in her eyes, "I'm so glad you're part of our family.

God has changed my attitude, and I see how much we have in common! Love is still winning out! We got here because of a lie. Modern anthropology has declared that there is no such thing as race. Science and the Bible agree on this. The way to combat racial prejudice is with the truth. Our ethnicity has to do with our lineage, i. The Johnsons have characteristics different than the Jones, but it isn't racial. It's familial.



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